Treat Yourself Kindly

  My psychiatry professor in medical school wore bolo ties. High-waisted pants, a chambray shirt and a variety of turquoise studded bolo ties. He spoke softly and managed to give the illusion that there was simplicity to the complex world of mental disorders. On one particular day, he wrote the following words on the board behind the podium: There is no progression without regression.

  Life has not been easy lately. For the past several weeks, I've felt under attack. Do you ever feel like missiles are coming from all directions and you just can't duck fast enough? And you're tired. Exhausted. But sleep eludes you because your mind is working overtime on problems that have no answers. 

  So, I'm trying to take his advice and I'm doing something I normally don't do.
I'm taking a step backward. Unless it's critical, I've been putting more stuff on the back burner.
I've ignored the pile of laundry and the stains in my sink. I don't want to talk about the litter box...

  As a result, my husband cleaned the shower for the first time in our marriage. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Should I feel victory for womankind? Or have I taken this too far?

  I'll settle for being grateful that he stepped in when I stepped back.

  I've put my to-do list under a thick pile of papers containing bills and papers that I need to work on. Instead, I'm taking longer walks with the dog and enjoying the beautiful sunsets that Texas has to offer. I'm spending a lot of time thinking about my sister...mostly incessant thoughts on what to do to help someone who is hurting. I'm sitting on the sofa drinking too much tea and watching documentaries about English castles. 

  I'm trying to heal. 

  A small part of me is antsy- guilty at the pile of projects that circle me- but I believe in what he said. I'm waiting for that surge of energy that says I've refilled my tank. That motivation that pulls me out of bed and launches me into my day. 

  Until then, you're stuck with this blog that's trying to say...

  Treat yourself kindly.